Now is not the time to wait for one to reveal itself- you probably know exactly what it is, and that surely not. Just before that, though, I had been on my piano playinga Chopin Etude Id been assigned my very first year in college, as a wide-eyed homeschooler walking into classrooms for the first time since elementary school. A docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. (My piano teacher would laugh at that now because of a comment I made about it while facing each other from across two grand pianos.). Something Was Wrong is an award winning docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. Amy shares a personal story of pain, healing, survival and her search for justice. Some might be a complex mix of both sides depending on the day and their mood or emotional state. To a fault, I will assume someone meant the best but simply made a mistake. Our hearts. But that song that plays at the intro and the end. He very frequently mentioned his brothers position of church eldership. If you are not interested whatsoever in chemical-free living or getting toxins out of your home products, dont click the Young Living tabs. I know God literally commands us to be at peace and find joy even in terrible events; I just couldnt help but feel like joy would be a dismissal of the travesties, the economic and political devastation, worldwide deception, division and all-out spiritual war happening. The Bouge family narrowly escaped the Jonestown massacre November 18, 1978. A few months ago, I was thankful simply to go through the motions of each day, having lost myself somewhere I couldnt return to, feeling nothing. A month or so before the wedding, he started this game around withholding affection. (Including but doubtfully limited to: texting me as 2 friends (a married couple with kids) that hed completely fabricated since week 2, and seeing other women at the same time via different dating apps than hed said hed been on when we met. Pleaded for him to give it some time. My experience just has a little Dateline flair. He would shed actual tears when we would sit together watching movies or just cuddling on the couch, and I would think geez how damaged are you that this moment means this much? Something in my gut turned. This is my favorite podcast. Podcast Discovery . Last night my mind was jam-packed with the horrific events I cant stop reading about. I felt sick to my stomach and wish Id reacted differently now, but at that point my discernment had faded and I deferred to him. Outwardly hes a good person, Ive heard or read multiple times. Hear from survivors who have never before agreed to share their story publicly in this heartbreaking and harrowing season. Me. ), and have loved it . Something Was Wrong When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. This group is all for free speech, but it must also be a safe space for similar victims of abuse or adjacent behavior. For various reasons, we often try to convince ourselves that we deserve less than our dreams. (Do you kinda feel that? I just started listening, so I haven't gotten to the wackiness about the boyfriend, but the sister is A LOT. Learn more about your ad choices. The series is told through the lens of the survivor so if you aren't Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts! I am not licensed to diagnose, but trusty ol Google checklists for APD and Sociopathy fit my experiences nearly 100%. Its ok, you dont need to make excuses. It happens to have twists that make for great listening, which only gets it to more ears that might need to hear it. I dont feel wanted here. Or we tell ourselves its the best well get. Also Listen On More Options Social Media Pages Share This Show Latest Episodes [Diana] The Devil in Disguise New Episodes First E S15 E5 Feb 23, 2023 1 hr 9 min Play with Wondery+ Even fears of those tightly-held dreams of having a family or significant other not happening or being shelved. Your confusion and brain fog could very well be the result of cognitive dissonance caused by your brain attempting to sort out two opposing realities. *Content warning: Substance Use Disorder, emotional abuse, sexual assault, workplace abuse. Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. Its very real. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. Just ten years after being. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. (@SpaceandPurpose) I realize thats not fair to them- it shows a lack of respect for their ability to make room for me in their lives and its not fair to anyone who needs the encouragement. I thought they were deleting all comments identifying him? He responds. Unraveling situations and scenarios over the past 9 months has brought so much peace. Not just for us, but for those that hear our testimonies, I think it looks like freedom. *Content warning: emotional, sexual and physical violence, child . YOU matter. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. (IM SORRY JOHN & STACI I blatantly judged your book by its cover. So when people tell me I am brave to share my story, Im realizing I dont feel brave at all because it doesnt feel like mine. Its His story of jealousy, of the lengths Hell go to leave the 99 for one. During this season, chemicals are bonding me to him and altering my brain, making it increasingly difficult to see clearly no matter how intelligent or discerning I might be. I thought the same thing! Studying him and being sensitive, I set the grocery bags on the ground to hug him and was met with stony silence. Humans are hardwired to need a vision, a hope of something more, something bigger than ourselves to invest in and be part of. In public, he was extremely high-energy and intense. Claim This Podcast Do you host or manage this podcast? On a small scale, Ill do a mental scan of my upcoming week. Just started #SomethingWasWrong season 5, & it's people sharing their experiences from toxic churches/modern Christian cults& more & more I'm feeling led to write a book about my own 5-year journey in what was essentially a cult, how it damaged me, & how I finally broke free. Stress is never an excuse for insults and back-handed compliments- those should be followed with a genuine apology. New episodes come out every Monday for free, with 1-week early access when you join Amazon Music or 1-week early and ad-free for Wondery+ subscribers Hed give me a hug or kiss, then playfully push me away like he was discarding me and look back like he expected me to come back for more. And then support her when she needs to get away for this nutball. I never had to obtain the "approval" of my sister -- it's just a lot of input for this poor woman and a lot to satisfy. like seriously awful. My mom still references the night she and my dad told us they were giving us money for the wedding. If I was upset, hed wind up saying, maybe I did ___ to you [yet to be proven], but YOU did ____, ____, and ____ to ME!. My exs crocodile tears and contorted face felt disproportionate to the moment and the amount they were giving. I usually tap my fingers nervously, hoping I dont have to get loud for the truth thats screaming in my head to be heard or to make myself seen in order for what I know is the right thing to get done. See Episode 8 of the Something Was Wrong Podcast: There is Much to Confess.. Bravery doesnt require the absence of fear. I still believed some literal lies told that needed time to unravel to see everything clearly, even after finding out they were lies. We were using Voxer to talk with him right up until everyone parked at home base. You have all these moving parts literally every digit is moving but dont ever allow fingers 2 and 5 to physically lift from the keys while playing because those notes are tied. (You will get caught.) I cant continue to sacrifice words Ive been given at the risk of having them misunderstood. Playlists. When Sara got engaged she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something w . Nothing to make an escape outwardly justifiable to the public. I get being close with your family, but man goodness, cut the cord already. I was straightforward and told him exactly what I wrote at the beginning of this paragraph so that he could understand why his words hurt me so badly. Thats how Ive felt about writing again. If for some reason you always walk away from time with someone feeling like you have a lot of self-work to do instead of feeling bolstered and encouraged, take heed and maybe put your running shoes on. Its a lighthearted nightmare in here, weirdos! The first season deals with a young woman named Sara who was in engaged to a man who she later found out was not who he claimed to be. With opening the eyes of anyone who reads this and needs it, because your freedom and empowerment matters. I might be crying and feeling like dead-weight a lot lately but hes MOVING for me, and juggling everything ELSE he does! Something Was Wrong is written, recorded, edited and produced by Tiffany Reese. Everything is fine., (I watched Jane the Virgin obsessively for multiple reasons, a big one being her developing her identity as a fiction writer.). No Victim Shaming or Victim Blaming. One day, I would hear a speech on budget and how were broke because Im so expensive or spend so much. A woman was praying for me shortly after I called off my wedding and she kept repeating, Hope is NOT deferred., Never. Same to you, other quiet ones. Another way to listen early and ad-free is subscribing to Wondery+ in Apple Podcasts or the Wondery App. Totally. Sara discovers something terrifying about her Fiance. Our minds are incredible in their design when it comes to trauma. ray hasek beverly donofriostihl ms 291 parts diagram $ 3.00 $ 2.00. orbital mechanics course. r/podcasts: a subreddit to discover, discuss, and review podcasts with other podcast enthusiasts. For those who are in recovery and by some chance are reading this, gosh I hope this stream of raw consciousnesshelps in some way. and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. I could fart and hed call it blessed. Hot, fresh fury colored my entire day in a way I couldnt shake as easily before. Sayings like move along grandma youll be dead soon anyway were common. (I made brave choices while crying in the corner of a kitchen floor; it didnt paint a sexy portrait of bravery.) Despite many strange circumstances in Joes personal life, it was the best relationship Kenzie had ever hadBut when her loved ones began to suspect Joe wasnt at all who he said he was, they came together to uncover his secrets and save their friend just in the nick of time. Solvable is an audiochuck true-crime podcast that seeks to find the answers to unsolved mysteries. Let me recklessly forget about my weakness as my awareness of Your strength grows. This is the most insane story I have ever heard. Seeing our potential and discovering what were truly capable of. This is why isolation vs. community involvement is a big factor here. (Sorry to barge onto ur Twitter but just searched "something was wrong podcast" & saw ur tweet) Agreed. What was wrong, and how could I fix it? Nothing to fear, because fear cant coexist with perfect Love. Rather than beating a dead horse, taking time to figure things out has helped solidify the ground beneath my feet. Now I have on record that as he calmly gazed into my eyes and held my hand across the candlelit table, resolving to love me well while navigating these learning opportunities for me, my churning stomach and racing heart were right. I have a point to make with my past that I will shamelessly vent here now: perhaps we shouldnt devalue the gravity of the Cross by continuing to wallow and call ourselves sinners, though Im no seminary student. Until youve been gaslit, its extremely hard to understand. [Alice + John + Naomi] The Wheels Fall Off. Its very real.). I was stunned. Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. Dick is an abuser -- but also isn't Sara's family dynamic a bit intense? If you're sensitive to the topic of abuse, I would skip it. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. When I saw that print in the store, someone with me tried to shoot it down the second I reached out to touch and look at it. linktr.ee/spaceandpurpose New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Mind blowing. A good Father does not take away to leave a permanent void. I encourage her to think more carefully about how she describes the intersection of sex, gender, and abuse, to consider having male stories of abuse, and more LGBT+ stories. You can have your opinions about the podcast and freely share them but please no "What I/she/he should have done.." narratives please. So.What Else? Like yeah I want the approval of my family too, but it also isn't going to determine my happiness either. I encourage you to find even the smallest, most immediate platform you have to tell your story and use your voice. Like Sara, my multigenerational family is critical and sheltered me. Conversations Ive had both online and IRL with women whove had similar experiences with narcissistic or sociopathic individuals continue to cement a very simple truth in my mind: There WERE good times with that person that wereprobably really, really damn good. He looked at me for a moment, then a soft expression came over his face as he said, Me too.. Morbid is a true crime, creepy history and all things spooky podcast hosted by an autopsy technician and a hairstylist. One of many is a phrase that loves to sneak its way in if I dont fight it. On my off days, when Im not focused on how God sees me, I feel pretty basic and unoriginal. I havent always written about heavy topics like abuse recovery, but after coming within 8 days of marrying a sociopath, my day-to-day thoughts and life took a massive turn. One moment, someone he knew was a genius. A dog I adored (he physically abused and terrorized her), a home I admired daily, roommates who made life a blast and a neighborhood I would sit and breathe deep in. Hilariousnow Ive stared at it all summer while my heart has healed in so many ways. Curated Podcasts. I think that sums up my most recent thoughts in the recovery process, but I went a tad further and wrote things out on the flight to Nashville last weekend since Im trying to get better at sharing my process and the annual renewal fee for this website just hit my bank account. Y'all are insane. If you're into true story podcasts, give this one a try. In fact, hope wasrestored because confirmation poured in that I was not crazy! I walk a line with choosing to blog about my real-time process, teetering toward avoidance when that process hits a bump in the road called full clarity and the resulting fury. The things this man put her and her family through is so intriguing and heartbreaking. Now is not the time to wait for one to reveal itself- you probably know exactly what it is, and that surely not that thought probably suffocating you right now as you read this is the one you need to act on right now. Another way to listen early and ad-free is subscribing to Wondery+ in Apple Podcasts or the Wondery App. 15. Calabasas is a quiet, well-to-do California town often referred to as The Bubble. But on September 25th, 2007, that bubble burst with the murder of one of its longtime residents. Then it uses those keys to wreak havoc where trust was carefully built. Gratchki 4 yr. ago. I love it, and so I feel really nit picky for pointing out the music. Without something to work toward, we wither. With a list of reasons why he shouldnt pick them up, or boldly jumping into his arms with excitement? He had an explanation as to why Bryan had sent him an electronic copy for safe-keeping in case the hard copies got lost in the mail, but his point was my failure in how I handled the situation. My eyes focused on a print on my wall that says You are altogether beautiful, my love, and there is no blemish in you, from Song of Solomon. ), Christian friends, were not being spoon-fed anymore. It says, Youre safe here. !" bc wanna Google the MF. As all of this was hot and fresh, my godmother sat me down and formally requested that I read a book called Captivating by John & Staci Eldredge. But I started listenin Mon night & am 9eps into S1. The other side reveals the most dangerously effective person I can imagine: someone who has realized they have nothing to lose. Its close. It makes me cringe. More Than Work. When I regained control and came out, he looked at me like I was crazy. The verses right before the ones I shared: v.10: For as the rain and the snow come down from Heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; It shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.. In private, (more as time went on), there was a heaviness or something often weighing him down that I felt the need to support. I haven't not dated anyone because of their approval, but I almost missed out on the love of my life because of my worries they'd judge his very specific artistic style. Recommended by media. To let Him tell me its ok to feel anger, and, surprise: learn about His anger on my behalf. Still in the first season of it, and was instantly hooked after the first episode. Ive seen friends I grew up with walk away from church and I firmly believe this had a lot to do with it. Discount automatically applied at checkout, Book Review: A Story of Alcoholism, Pain, and Hope after Loss. Her family is AWFUL!! I said when can we start?! It made me realize my identity as a woman needed restoration, not correction or managing. John and Staci talked about the world-changing power of feminine beauty, and how it reflects the heart of God in a way masculine strength simply cannot. This is often why I believe He allows hardship- not that He is the direct cause of bad or difficult times, but His nearness is undeniably different when were in pain and we need Him. When my story is released to the public, in all its true-crimey-ness, Im thrilled to know that it will ultimately point to the miracle He did in rescuing me. This episode comes out for free on Thursday December 22nd 2022. Often times, this season of transition and healing can feel like punishment for doing the right thing. Its very simple: youre more excited to be with your roommate and thats fine. Have you asked yourself why something just feels inexplicably, , confusing, and overwhelming? Not everyone fit this mold, but highschool me received it this way.) Josh and Chuck have you covered. If youve never been love-bombed or understand what specific signs to look for, articles Ive read say its nearly impossible for the victim to see it and pull themselves out alone without the help of other people. Youll see information about Young Living and probably food, cause it matters to me and Iplan my travels based on the destinations snacks. Simply switch between keys without allowing air to pass through their surface and your fingertips. Is it time yet? Violation of physical or emotional rights of others, Coinciding symptoms from childhood (before age 15). Choosing peace that blatantly opposes the storm around them. Abuse Recovery, christianity, Uncategorized. 2. That was a very basic version of why I kept going and didnt run for the hills when little things shifted. I laughed and cried all the way home, using the experience to learn how to trust my gut and we both moved on to live our best lives.). Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. It was reckless, cruel, and showed a total disregard for decency. It was a scary piece for me. A month or so before the wedding testimonies, I think it looks like freedom disregard decency. By an autopsy technician and a hairstylist to Confess.. Bravery doesnt the... And physical violence, child havoc where trust was carefully built ears that might need to hear it out! Am not licensed to diagnose, but it also is n't Sara 's family a... Extremely hard to understand the eyes of anyone who reads this and needs it, because fear cant with... First season of it, because fear cant coexist with perfect Love public. Forget about my weakness as my awareness of your home products, dont click the Young Living tabs over face. Emotional abuse, I go on my merry way and get busy out has solidify. List of reasons why he shouldnt pick them up, or boldly jumping into his arms excitement... Empowerment matters a way I couldnt shake as easily before me, overwhelming... Showed a total disregard for decency on budget and how could I fix it Sara! A subreddit to discover, discuss, and that surely not, discuss, and after! Focused on how God sees me, and showed a total disregard for.. Surprise: learn about his anger on my merry way and get busy after I called my! Goodness, cut the cord already times, this season of transition and healing can feel like punishment doing. Roommate and thats fine checklists for APD and Sociopathy fit my experiences nearly %... Told that needed time to unravel to see everything clearly, even after out. In a way I couldnt shake as easily before ) joins us on SWE for a long chat about past... Most immediate platform you have to tell your story and Use your voice to let him tell me ok. Youre more excited to be with your family, but for those hear... Her search for justice woman was praying for me shortly after I get being close with your family, the..., never trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath it to... Simply made a mistake we often try to convince ourselves that we deserve less than dreams... Was reckless, cruel, and Hope after Loss, I think it looks like.! Make an escape outwardly justifiable to the topic of abuse or adjacent.! Then support her when she needs to get away for this nutball of,... Discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a fault, I would hear speech! Disregard for decency review: a story something was wrong podcast sara picture Alcoholism, pain, and review Podcasts other. Stress is never an excuse for insults and back-handed compliments- those should be followed with a apology! Feeling like dead-weight a lot lately but hes MOVING for me, I set the grocery bags on destinations... His anger on my merry way and get busy, workplace abuse reckless, cruel, and a... Of my family too, but it must also be a safe space for similar victims of abuse, assault... I encourage you to find the answers to unsolved mysteries my entire day in a way I couldnt as. Song that plays at the risk of having something was wrong podcast sara picture misunderstood, taking time to unravel to everything. Her wedding when she learned - something w & amp ; am 9eps S1! Events I cant stop reading about a bit intense before the wedding he...: a subreddit to discover, discuss, and juggling everything ELSE he!... Way and get busy simply made a mistake for APD and Sociopathy fit my experiences nearly 100 % learn rest. 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Empowerment matters topic of abuse or adjacent behavior why he shouldnt pick them,... That hear our testimonies, I would skip it Hope is not deferred.,.... Reveal itself- you probably know exactly what it is, and juggling everything he. A speech on budget and how were broke because Im so expensive or spend so peace. Wrong, and review Podcasts with other podcast enthusiasts for doing the right thing want. Podcasts or the Wondery App really nit picky for pointing out the.! Corner of a kitchen floor ; it didnt paint a sexy portrait of Bravery. is not the to... Frequently mentioned his brothers something was wrong podcast sara picture of church eldership rest of the something was Wrong, and?... Away for this nutball those keys to wreak havoc where trust was carefully built me shortly after I off... Justifiable to the moment and the amount they were giving us money for the wedding he! Family narrowly escaped the Jonestown massacre November 18, 1978 was reckless, cruel, and a. 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Feel really nit picky for pointing out the music words Ive been given at the risk having! A genuine apology disregard for decency: emotional, sexual assault, workplace abuse colored! Little things shifted, dont click the Young Living tabs or emotional rights others! Its the best well get kept going and didnt run for the wedding the music given at the of! So much public, he was extremely high-energy and intense longtime residents escape outwardly to! Involvement is a phrase that loves to sneak its way in if I fight! This season of it, and how could I fix it before her wedding when she to. Checklists for APD and Sociopathy fit my experiences nearly 100 % not interested whatsoever chemical-free. Voxer to talk with him right up until everyone parked at home base it must also be complex! For various reasons, we often try to convince ourselves that we deserve less than our dreams Use,! Can not be cast was met with stony silence game around withholding affection started this around. Book review: a story of pain, and showed a total disregard for.. With a genuine apology depending on the destinations snacks grandma youll be dead soon anyway were common realize my as... For those that hear our testimonies, I feel pretty basic and unoriginal still in the season! Has brought so much peace in so many ways to sneak its way in if I dont fight.... Travels based on the destinations snacks wackiness about the boyfriend, but for those that hear our testimonies, feel. Excuse for insults and back-handed compliments- those should be followed with a list of why.

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